fuck grades though.

• C- in advertising.
• B in musicology.
• B- in Italian.
• ??? in astro lecture & lab and math.

slkdkjadjklasjdklada. I’m over college.

three years down, two more to go. RAH.

I started college in fall of 2010. I sucked. spring 2011. I still sucked so I got dismissed. spring 2012, I came back and did alright. fall 2012, I did very well. now, spring 2013, I’m still working my ass off but I can’t get financial aid because I’m not making “satisfactory grades.” I now owe $19,000+ for this semester because my loans were denied for sucking. no thanks to UT. why the fuck am I paying $40,000 a year if you’re not gonna help me. it’s like high school I was babied, but college just said fuck it. you’re an adult, figure this shit out on your own. no. that’s not what I’m paying you for. goddamn. I’m so fucking stressed because of tests and papers and now this shit is tossed on me. I’m going to explode. I don’t want to be in college anymore. I’m on the verge of tears every time I even think about this shit. I am tired of this. it’s not even worth it anymore. I just wish I was able to make it in life without a college education… I just want to be in LA, happy, with a job and a decent roof over my head, but college is definitely in the way of that.

today I got the realization that school may not even be an option anymore. the fact that this is even an option breaks my fucking heart. I messed up big time freshman year, I didn’t do my work or go to class much. I got dismissed for a semester. I had to reapply to get back in for the next semester. so my question is, why would I go through the hassle of reapplying if I didn’t want to be serious about school? I got my GPA up quite a lot, but it’s still not up to par. I didn’t do fantastic last semester, my readmitted semester, but I still got above a 2.0 which is what I needed. I am working my ass off this semester and should have a 3.3 for the fall. but that still won’t get me to where I need to be. I am in the Arts and Sciences college, which is default for those who came in undecided. I know what I want to do, but I have to change to the College of Communications. I want to be a PR major, but I have to have a GPA of 2.75. doesn’t sound bad, but when you’ve failed as awful as I did, it’s incredibly hard. it’s not even that college, it’s all of them. I can stay in the college of Arts and Sciences, but I don’t want to! if my university isn’t going to cut me break, after I’m trying to bring up my grades and I realized I fucked up, then why should I even try? I thought college was about doing what you’re good at, not being forced to do something you don’t want to do just because you can’t get into the college of choice because of one mistake!? I must be wrong. you should want me. I’m not the typical kid: I’m not super smart nor a complete idiot. I mean there are a lot of average students, but I was dismissed and I came back willing to work and get where I need to be… but this fucking GPA requirement is stopping me from becoming something in life. a mistake should be learned from and we should all be able to move on. I’ve learned from it but I can’t seem for the life of me to move on. it doesn’t matter if I’m making As and Bs in my required classes for PR, it only matters that I have that stupid ass GPA requirement.

I am so fucking heartbroken and I don’t know what to do. I called my mom after my advising appointment and almost broke down on the bus. she feels awful for me even though she almost hated me for failing. there’s nothing else I want to do. I want to be in PR. I want to finish college. I want to make something of myself. but I can’t. I fucking can’t.

(Source: the-heirofslytherin)

kill me.

I was dismissed for the fall semester.

I live six hours away from campus.

I live in Ohio, go to school in Tennessee.

I have to make an advising appointment in person.

my advisor is booked for the rest of the semester.

they’re having walk-ins in two weeks during the week.

I DO NOT LIVE IN TENNESSEE.

I CANNOT JUST TAKE A QUICK TRIP WHENEVER I FEEL LIKE IT.

I WORK IN AN OFFICE, SOMEONE CANNOT COVER FOR ME.

I FUCKING DO NOT UNDERSTAND.

I AM PAYING, NOW, $40,000+ A SEMESTER. YOU BETTER FUCKING SQUEEZE ME IN.

I honestly do not give two shits about your input, I never follow my advisor anyway. fuck you.

I’m beyond pissed.

(Source: the-heirofslytherin)

my best friend, Amber, was driving to campus and called me. she said she saw John Cena. I was like, “haha. ok.” then we told our friend, Valencia, about it and she said that WWE was here at the Thompson Boling Arena. we looked it up… look at tickets, only $15… I called my mom as we walked there and wala. WE WENT.

so fucking amazing!

this is of John Cena coming out to wrestle. so much funnn!

we were all moved into the hall of the dorm cus of a tornado warning… if I die. somebody post my link on my facebook…

(Source: nicollettex)

last day of fucking class on April 29.

exams until May 10.

done with my first year of college.

FUCK THIS SHIT IS HARD.

(Source: nicollettex)

legit dilemma…

• kinesiology major or journalism & electronic media major?

- if I graduate with a kinesiology major, I can go off to grad school and study sports medicine.

- if I graduate with a jem major, I can anchor, be a radio personality, be a director, a lots more.

I love sports but I would love to talk sports or even music or even direct a movie or show. I really don’t know what to do. this is so hard. both of their pays could possibly be good if I got a better job with each. I could either end up working in a high school with a kinesiology major or I could be a personal trainer for a top athlete. I could be a newscaster on FOX or I could be directing a high paying movie. I don’t know. at this rate, I’m really not going to be graduating in four years… so I guess I could take beginner classes in each and see which one is going to be better for me. I don’t know tho. I was so set on sports med since junior year in high school… now I’m second guessing it. decisions, decisions.

(Source: gothamsown-batman)

I need about 25 more, at least, so I can start my paper. please, and thanks!

(Source: -therainisonmyside)